You Don't Know Her Like I Do
by bhfirewife
Summary: Inspired by "You Don't Know Her Like I Do". Mamoru's POV over the time of the breakup.


A/N: I don't own anything from the Sailor Moon universe nor am I making any money from this story.

Mamoru looked at the caller ID on his phone before he answered it, just in case it was Usagi. Seeing that it was one his few friends from school, he picked up the receiver.

"Chibi-chan! Is it true? You aren't going out with that blonde girl anymore?!" the female voice said.

Mamoru sighed, not really wanting to talk about it. He was usually a very private person, and with this, even more so. "It's true," he replied.

"I am sorry to hear that. I just wanted to let you know that if you even need to talk, I will listen."

"Thank-you," Mamoru said, knowing that he wasn't going to be talking about it with her. The only person he wanted to talk this over with was the one that he was hurting while he was tearing himself apart with this separation. He chatted a few more minutes on the phone with his classmate, and then excused himself, saying that he had to get back to his studies. He knew that if he stayed on the phone much longer, the topic would once again turn to his resent breakup.

Of all his friends Motoki was the only one that knew that he had been the one who had put an end to the relationship. But he could not give Motoki the real reason for the breakup without outing himself as Tuxedo Kamen and Usagi as Sailor Moon.

Mamoru had been avoiding talking to any of his friend about his breakup with Usagi, even Motoki. Especially Motoki, who was friends with Usagi as well.

He couldn't bear to think of the comfort that his other friends would offer him. It was not him that deserved comfort, it was his Usako, because he was the on who was cause the pain.

His other friends all assumed that it had been Usagi that had broken up with him, so they all offered him things like, "You'll get over her soon" or "she really wasn't good enough for you!"

When they said things like that, he would always reply with either, "You don't know her like I do," or "You'll never understand".

Over the course of the first month of their break up, Mamoru distanced himself from everyone. The only exception was Chibi-Usa. For some reason he could not understand, he felt a draw to the young girl. It was almost like a paternal need to make sure that she was safe and protected. Plus it gave him a glimpse at his beloved Usako from time to time.

It was killing him that he was causing her so much pain, but he had to do everything he could to protect her.

His friends from school had kept trying to get him to go to parties with them, even though parties weren't his thing. The one time that he gave in and went with them, there had been a couple of bottles of alcohol passed around. He drank some of it, like everyone else, hoping it would help ease the pain in his heart. He gave up after his third drink when his healing powers kicked in and kept his head clear.

Mamoru didn't know how he was supposed to keep away from Usagi. Every fiber of his being called out for her. He was only meant to be with her, but if being with her was going to make his nightmares come true, he would keep his distance.

His mind, body, and soul were all calling out for her. He felt like he had been pulled underwater, and couldn't rise to the surface again to breathe. He was drowning in his guilt from hurting her, and the pain from being away from her.

He fully pulled away from all of his friends from school when after the second month of the breakup, they could not believe that Mamoru still hadn't moved on and found himself a new girlfriend. They had begun telling him that Usagi wasn't worth him still being upset over, especially since they had been broken up for nearly as long as they had been dating. They kept telling him to find someone else. Someone who would take his pain away. Someone that would make him forget that Usagi ever existed.

Usagi was the only one that truly tried to understand him. She had been the only one to completely believe in his good side when he had been controlled by Beryl. She had been the only to heal him and return his memories after the fight with the Doom Tree.

Usagi had been the one to introduce him to the group that he had been most comfortable with and while they had been dating, hung out with the most, the rest of the Sailor Senshi, all of her best friends.

After Mamoru had his memories restored, he knew that while he had been with Usagi only a short time in this life, the connection between their souls was much older. They were destined to be together, and he loved her even more because of that bond, despite what he had told her.

The trip into the future had answered a lot of questions for him, but is also made a big one begin to flash in his mind…

HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO HIMSELF AND USAGI?! ESPECIALLY USAGI!

Was he really that cruel? He knew that he had been cruel to Usagi after he started having those dreams about their wedding day, but to make himself have to hurt like his future self had made him?

Once he rescued Usagi from Demond, Mamoru felt he could breathe properly for the first time in months. The love that shone in her eyes when she looked at him felt like he had been pulled above the surface, and that the water around him had been little more than a puddle.

Looking down at Usagi as the glided away from the Dark Moon's castle, he could only think about his classmates trying to get him to move on and his mental reply, every time, "No, you don't know how much I've got to lose"

After they landed, but before they joined their friends and his future self, he drew her to him. Looking deeply into her eyes, he told her how sorry he was for everything he had been putting her through. He told her of his dreams and that it was the only way that he saw to protect her. He told her how much it had killed him to have been hurting her like that.

When Usagi had told him of having a similar dream to the ones that he had been having, not too long ago, he had been surprised.

What had surprised him the most was when she had told him that she forgave him, even before he could beg for her to. He knew that she had a big heart, but he didn't think that she would ever trust him with it again, after the way he had been treating her.

Once the Dark Moon Kingdom was defeated and everyone returned to their home, Mamoru's classmates were surprised to find out that he was once again, and more seriously, dating Usagi. They all figured that Mamoru was crazy and that Usagi would once again, given time, break his heart again.

He would shake his head as he turned away from them when they would say such things and reply, "You don't know her like I do."


End file.
